Let’s be honest: grief doesn’t give you a heads-up. It doesn’t wait for your project deadline or check if you’re done with that spreadsheet. When we lose someone we love, everything stops—except, apparently, work.
Here in the United States, bereavement leave is grossly overlooked. And part of the reason? There’s no federal law that requires employers to provide paid—or even unpaid—time off for mourning.
1. What Does the Law Say About Bereavement Leave?
Short answer: not much.
There is no federal mandate for bereavement leave in the U.S. That means whether you get time off—and how much—is entirely up to your employer. If you’re lucky, your company might offer one or two paid days, and that’s it. And if you’re really lucky, you don’t have to provide a copy of the obituary or death certificate.
Yes, you read that right. In the middle of your grief, while planning a funeral, navigating travel, or trying to help family—you might also be asked to prove that someone died. That feels less like support and more like a slap in the face.
2. “Can’t I Use FMLA?”
Technically? Not really.
The Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) gives eligible employees up to 12 weeks of unpaid, job-protected leave each year. It also ensures health benefits continue during that time. Sounds great, right?
Well—FMLA doesn’t cover bereavement.
You might be able to use it if you’re caring for a seriously ill loved one, but if someone passes away? FMLA doesn’t apply. And even if it did, the leave is unpaid. Most of us aren’t Rockefellers. We can’t just go weeks without income while grieving.
3. How the U.S. Stacks Up Globally (Spoiler: Poorly)
While we’re juggling grief and HR paperwork, other countries are doing better—a lot better.
| ? Country | Bereavement Leave Offered |
|---|---|
| ?? New Zealand | 3 days paid leave for death of close family (includes miscarriage) |
| ?? United Kingdom | 2 weeks paid leave for parents who’ve lost a child (Jack’s Law) |
| ?? Canada | Up to 10 days off, some paid depending on province |
| ?? Ireland | New legislation for 5 days paid leave for miscarriage or stillbirth |
These policies reflect something simple: death is part of life, and people need time to process it.
4. “Use PTO” Isn’t a Solution
Many companies recommend using PTO or VTO (Voluntary Time Off) for additional grieving time.
But let’s be real: grief isn’t something you plan for. You can’t exactly schedule a funeral three weeks in advance to align with the PTO approval cycle.
Some employers even restrict how far in advance you can request paid days off. And even when you do have PTO, you usually need manager approval—which might not come through in time, especially if you’re flying across the country or helping coordinate arrangements.
5. Proof of Death? Seriously?
Let’s talk about this one more time: some companies ask for proof—an obituary, funeral program, or even a death certificate.
While there’s a certain logic to verifying leave, it’s another hurdle at a time when you’re already emotionally, mentally, and sometimes financially drained.
You shouldn’t be scrambling for a PDF of someone’s obituary while figuring out travel plans and grieving.
6. We Deserve Better
Some companies do better—they offer 5 days, flexible time off, or even unlimited leave under compassionate policies. But they’re the exception, not the norm.
So the question is: should bereavement leave be part of federal law?
Absolutely.
We need to recognize that one or two days is not enough. If you’re planning a funeral, supporting loved ones, or simply trying to stay upright, more time is essential. Grief doesn’t follow an Outlook calendar.
? TL;DR (Too Lost, Didn’t Read)
- The U.S. has no legal requirement for bereavement leave
- FMLA doesn’t cover grief-related time off
- Most companies offer 1–3 paid days, and often require “proof”
- Other countries are ahead in offering real support
- Grief is not optional, nor should time off to manage it be
? Final Thought
Grief is part of being human. If we can’t offer people time to mourn, to show up for their families, or to say goodbye with dignity—what are we doing?
It’s time for a cultural and legislative shift. Because the only thing worse than losing someone… is being asked to come back to work like nothing happened.
?? Want to Advocate for Change?
Have a story? Want to see this shift happen?
? Drop a comment, share this post, or talk to your HR team about starting the conversation.